Renesmee's Blanket
by DeviouslySpikedTequila
Summary: Renesmee is cold and Daddy knows just what she needs, a new blanket...Please Read and Review


**Renesmee's Blanket**

Jacob poured another round and grinned at Edward, who looked unusually tired. "Something on your mind?"

Edward shook his head and shrugged. "Im fine just not getting a lot of sleep. Its Nessie."

Jacob looked up in concern, trying to foccus. "Nes? Whats wrong? Not the nighmares again?" He said with a faint growl. Edward gave a small apriciative grin. Jacob was almost as protective of Edward's wife and daughter as Edward himself.

"No. Not nightmares." The vampire replied and took note the skinwalker eased at once. "But lately its been cold. And me and Bella, we're vampires so it dosnt matter. But since Nessie is part human, she gets cold and can't sleep."

The vampires drinking partner frowned and then took another sip of beer, though it took him a few tries to find his mouth. "I can't even begin to imagine." Edward took a long drink, unaffected by the alcahol.

"Really? You never get cold? I mean I saw you camp out in front of my house. In the snow.

Naked..." Edward paused for a minute, brew halfway to his lips, "Dont do that anymore by the way." The Vampire said before the Shapeshifter shot back, "Hey I had boxers on!" Edward just looked at him,

"And you werent cold?"

The shapeshifter shook his head and downed the rest of his beer. "Never. We have a core tempature of 108.8. Can get a little hot under the collar. But I've never been cold." He grinned proudly and took another draught. "When we marry, Nessie will never have to worry about getting cold again. I just wish I could do something for her now." Ed grinned and poured another draft.

"Too bad we cant make a blanket of your coat. Bella says its right soft."

"Mmm damn shame." Jacob grinned and drank down his beer. He looked out at the aproaching dawn and shook his head. "I gotta head out man. The pack dosnt like it when Im off all night and dont help with the hunt." He slurred.

"Yeah tell me about it. Bella wont be too pleased either. She'll probably think I took off with another clan. I just hope I dont get tagged as I dunno ... leaping while intoxicated. My blood alcohol level must be 4.8 or something and I dont even have blood!"

Both night creatures tittered drunkenly. "You think thats bad? Friday before last I was caught by police and tagged as a prowler." Jacob said, " and Last month it was that rondevous with the dog catcher. " Edward grinned crookedly, "Oh yeah. Woke up with a hangover and a little girl adopting me as her new puppy. I must admit I do miss her belly rubs." Jacob sighed a little wistfully and hicupped. "Well best be off. Go sleep off your hangover mate." Jacob spoke before waving Edward off.

"Will do." Edward said while he nodded and turned around as Jacob prepared for his transformation.

_So We should do this again soon. _Jacob thought, Edward turned back to the Elaphantine wolf and nodded.

"Definatly."

Jacob gave a long loud howl and bounded off into the snow. He took five loping steps before falling motionlessly into the snow, fast asleep. Edward grinned and nodded to himself. "Perfect."

Bella was at the kitchen sink washing the dinner dishes from Renesmee when Edward came strolling in. She dropped her work and met him at the door. "And Where have you been all day and night?" She asked sternly to her husband who only smiled and kissed her as her hands fisted and rested on her hips. "Youre awful pretty when you're all fired up. I was trying to find a way to keep Nessie warm at night. I think I got something."

"Well then you better bring it to her. Shes been saying shes almost numb. Even with the heater on and several blankets" Bella sighed and kissed her husbands cheek. Edward nodded and went to see his little girl.

"Hey princess." He said.

"Daddy!" Renesmee squeaked out through chattering teeth. "I mithed you Daddy." she lisped and crawled into her fathers cold but loving embrace. "Where have you been?" Edward smiled and cuddled his little dhampire child close. "I was with Uncle Jacob. He had something he wanted to give you." Edward smiled and pulled out a fur blanket. "Its soft and it will keep you warm no matter how cold you get."

Renesmee grinned and wrapped it around herself. "ith tho warm!" she she squealed. Bella listened from the kitchen and smiled. Finally her little girl would sleep well... Her thoughts were interupted by a long howl. Bella looked up in time to see a large wolf lope up to the house.

"Jake? What happened to you fur?" She asked, coming to the door as the wolf changed back to human form.

"Edward! You squirell sucking son of a fleabag!" He called in the direction of the laughing Vampire.

Bella let off a sympathetic giggle and lead the shapeshifter into the house. "what happened to you?" Jacob glared as he spoke angrily, "That sparkly husband of yours is what happened! He got me drunk and shaved me!"

**Authors Note::** Well here is another story by DeviouslySpikedTequila or you may know us by DG and Cain. This was just something we cooked up while joking around and Cain wrote it I just did some correcting here and there but tried to keep to the same story she wrote so its got some not so twilight like things in it but its a crack fic so who cares. (Cain dosnt like Twilight this idea was just too funny not to share!) Hope you enjoyed my (DG's) Deviousness, Cain's Spiked and our round about of Tequila. Please Read and Review.


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